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my piranha

by gingerjamesfair

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    I burn each CD to order, so there isn't a stockpile in my bedroom. I produce each one in a cardboard sleeve with an A4 lyric sheet.

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  • Full Digital Discography

    8
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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Hobbyist, An Unreachable Peak, Four Scores, Qualia, Lunarticks, Lightspeed, Sagittarius, and my piranha. , and , .

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1.
This Is Me At 23 01:25
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This is me at twenty-three, a little ball of energy & supposedly unfulfilled potential. A messed up mix of God & sex and gone wrong relationships that were never meant to be. A tribute to the many times that all these things have swelled my mind and then left me choking. A bitter blend of feeling shitty, drunken nights in every city and enemies I won’t forget. This is me at twenty-three…
2.
Jackamo 02:13
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I must confess there may be times where I may mess with your head in an attempt to make you love me. I seem to find that you dominate my mind for no good reason, other than, I think I love you. ‘Cause you make me feel so in love with my life, and thought of living it with you. Please understand, I’m doing everything I can just to be in your life and all around you. But everyday, I try to figure what to say about my heart, and how I’m feeling. ‘Cause you make me feel so in love with my life, and thought of living it with you.
3.
Chances 03:32
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Sunlight on a new day, and I feel like a new-born. She gives me chances to find my way: here I am on a brand new day singing la la la la la la. Moonlight and I’m crazy, can’t sleep whilst I’m thinking. She gives me chances to improve on what I’ve got, but if I had her I’d have my lot of love. But that don’t make it happen. Oh no, I try to find a way to be in her heart. That don’t stop me trying. Oh no, chances are so often lost from the start. Chances are we’ll part. She knows that I’m in love with her, she knows but says nothing. And I know I have done all the things I could have done to be where I am now. But that don’t make it happen. Oh no, I try to find a way to be in her heart. That don’t stop me trying. Oh no, chances are so often lost from the start.
4.
Penguin Feet 03:30
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Mummy, I might be home later. I can’t come straight here, or they’ll kill me. I see them, waiting on the horizon… they hate my insides. Lately, I’ve tried to hide in shadows, but they hear my sighs of fear. My eyes sting from crying. So shallow to be bullied. Cut deep, wasted, shot through and scared… I’ve been here so long. I’m praying that God himself will save me. I’m freezing and cold and long to leave. My eyes sting from crying. So shallow to be bullied. Please leave me to be me, you’re hurting our feelings.
5.
Blueskies 02:44
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Outside makes me cry, as rain comes down again. There’s never been a sun whilst you are away. Oh where do the blueskies go when you’re not home? I long for you to come home, to be with me once more. I miss your gentle touch, I miss your words of love. Oh where do the blueskies go when you’re not home? And I dream of many things, like kisses that touch. And the wind that brings them here, whispers in my ear that I loved you so much. Heart beats like a drum, sleep will never come. Oh where do the blueskies go when you’re not home?
6.
Make Me An Offer I Can't Refuse 03:33
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“Make me an offer I can’t refuse”, said the father to his daughter. “I’ve helped you out for sixteen years and now I need some kind of repayment”. And she was scared, like anyone would be, ‘cause if he really cared, he would leave her alone. “Make me an offer I can’t refuse”, said the husband to his tired wife. “I’ve let you do what you want for years, now I need some kind of repayment”. And she was scared, like anyone would be, ‘cause if he really cared, he would leave her alone. Save your loving for your children. Save your loving for the children you have. Your love is wasted on him Mum, he has no love, he has no love.
7.
In All Honesty 02:44
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Let’s end before we start to implode once more. I’ve had my fair share of losing out and vacant stares. This idle chat with bitten tongues, I want to shout but haven’t come this far just to say a put-you-down or keep away. You can go, anytime you want to. You just let me know and I’ll go home. A swollen pride, a hidden hate, a jealous love of your strongest mate. You always want what you can never have, so you destroy mine and we both lose out. . And you can go, anytime you want to. You just let me know and I’ll go home.
8.
Life Is Sweet 02:06
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Life is so sweet straight from the bottle. I can find my feet and move to the music. When I’m clumsy, it helps me. Makes things easy, lose my memory. My swollen inside takes a kiss from the spirit. I forget all the times that you made me feel sickness. When I’m lonely it helps me, keeps me company with my TV.
9.
Released 01:37
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Fly back, you’re all grown up. Know now what you’ve gotta do: cut loose our relationship and rise. Messed up and so confused… didn’t think you were quite so blind. You try to lie but it all fucks up, then cry. You don’t seem pleased, I seem relieved. You fail to see; I’ve been released.
10.
Where Cats Go To Die 03:15
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It’s like living in a war zone, there’s no survivors here. Friendships in meltdown, a sea of desperate tears. And if I cry tonight, no-one will make it right ‘cause I’m all alone. Oh… I’m better off alone. It’s like sailing in a stormy sea, but my soul won’t let me drown. I cling to loving words and hope for brighter days. But if I die tonight, no-one will make it right ‘cause I’m all alone. Oh… I’m better off alone. I’m gonna end my time, where cats go to die. I’ll be the only one that doesn’t want your love. I’m gonna end my time, where cats go to die. I’ll be the only one that doesn’t want your love. That doesn’t want your love.
11.
Fine 01:55
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Will you help me make my longboard? I long to have a hobby we can share. I have good times when you’re around me. People talk about us but I don’t care. ‘cause I’m fine just being beside you, and I wanna stay there. Will you come abroad this winter and snowboard like the winter never ends? I want to spend more time around you; I want to live my life amongst my friends. ‘cause I’m fine just being beside you, and I don’t want it to end. Will you be my friends forever? Soul-mates meant to stay together for all time. Who needs God when this is Heaven? Enjoying life has made me scared of death. ‘cause I’m fine just being beside you, and I don’t want it to end.
12.
We Both Lost Our Way In The End 04:19
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We both lost our way in the end. There was nothing that we could cling to. Sometimes I try to pretend that we are in love, still in love. We both tried too hard in the end, to make something work when it couldn’t. Oh why did we fight and waste our time with arguing all of the time? When we both our way in the end. Well shall I go home now? And leave you alone now? We both lost our way in the end, when we lay there without even speaking. And kissing became such a chore for us to endure, for us to endure. We both tried too hard in the end, and lost sight of what we both wanted. Those goals we had, the dreams we think about in our sleep. We both lost our way in the end. You should go home now, and leave me alone now. We both lost our way in the end and it’s easy to forget why we did it. But the love we had will never die, it’s etched in time inside my mind, though we both lost our way in the end.

about

I wrote this record after a break-up from my long-time girlfriend and whilst unimpressed with the world of professional employment in the ‘media’ industries. This is a very traditional time to pick up a guitar. I was in a band as a teenager but I hadn’t played my guitar for years, so it was a very cathartic experience to play music again.
The expression ‘play’ music is very apt here, because making this record was very much a playful experience. I spent ages at my friend Larry’s house and we got lost in creativity. It was a way of getting over a relationship, a way of expressing frustrations, a way of getting my confidence back.

There was no plan of action, as we had no previous experience of recording an album. I had some rough drafts recorded upon a Tascam 4-track recorder and we quite simply began to tackle songs whenever we felt like it. We sometimes tried to recreate the character of the original recordings (like ‘Penguin Feet’), and sometimes went in completely different directions (like ‘In All Honesty’). The rest was a mixture of Larry and I making it up as we went along, and being joined by his younger sister Bethan for ‘We Both Lost Our Way In The End’.

It sounds strange to admit the influences for this album, because they probably aren’t reflected in the recordings themselves. Lyrically I was inspired by Chris Corner’s work in IAMX, whilst melodically it was probably closer to The Moody Blues. I was also hugely inspired by Blur, especially their album ‘13’ and the track ‘Out Of Time’ from the ‘Think Tank’ album.

I have always preferred ‘roughness’ in my work, the deliberate lack of perfection. I think it sometimes gets confused for laziness, but I genuinely believe that there is a sense of character that gets created when the audience can get an impression of the process that went into making something. I enjoyed the Dogme cinema movement for it’s imperfections and refusal to conform to Hollywood standards, and I think this influenced my musical approach too. I didn’t want the dynamic range of the music to come solely from the traditional drums/bass/guitar combination, so we tried to weave all sorts of sounds into the mix, especially effected vocals. This is most evident in ‘We Both Lost Our Way In The End’ or the pitch-shifted melodica of ‘Released’.

The bonus track ‘Stupid Me’ was originally hidden at the end of the CD, and is taken from the rough draft recordings. We didn’t attempt to re-record it as it had a particular character of its own especially with the E-Bow solos at the end. These were recorded almost entirely by fluke, one of the most evil by-products of creative experimentation. Some times you just can’t repeat it even if you wanted to, especially when drafting onto analogue recorders where the mistakes are transparent and difficult to cut around.

I hope you enjoy this record.

James

credits

released August 1, 2005

All music & lyrics written by James Fair. Recorded between March 2004 – Jan 2005 at Pinelands. Mastered at the DAC. Produced by James Fair & Larry Smith. Bethan Smith guest vocals on We Both Lost Our Way In The End.

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gingerjamesfair Bournemouth, UK

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