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Sagittarius

by gingerjamesfair

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1.
So Alone 04:12
Someone, please help me, I feel lonely and unhappy. I have music, I have whiskey, I have Jesus on a Sunday. I have no-one, just for cuddles, to hold me when I’m cold in bed. I have sad dreams, that have no sun, just sharp shapes that prickle me. And my weakness is I feel this inside of me. When I’m crying I’m really dying inside of me. Deep down, in my headache I can feel love and it scratches me. I can’t use it, cut it from me, try to lose it, but I can’t succeed. And my weakness is I feel this inside of me. When I’m crying I’m really dying inside of me.
2.
The day can’t come to soon when you’re back in my empty arms, I’ll keep you safe from harm. And I hold out my hands to the distant sun, thinking of all the fun that you must be having. Or does it hurt so much when you can’t feel my touch in the morning? Maybe the ache begins, when the sun goes in, in the evening? And I worry about you, all the things out there, are you taking care? Cause I can’t be there to save you. I give up my love, to the stars above, hoping that you are there to feel it. Or does it hurt so much when you can’t feel my touch in the morning? Maybe the ache begins when the sun goes in, in the evening?
3.
Balmoral 02:00
Lying here feels so great. I can’t sleep for all the heat in here. I can’t fall in love with you. I can’t fall in love with you. A dog barks and I’m awake. You fell asleep on my chest. I’ve dreamt of this since we’ve met, and now I’m here, I can’t forget that I can’t fall in love with you. No I can’t fall in love with you
4.
I am sure and I am certain, that this hole in my head is my imagination and I’m sure that it is dead. You can turn it around, turn it around, you could make more of life if you can turn it around. Run down, I can’t even think. I can hear what you say but it doesn’t give way to these things. See I want to be strong, keep moving along but it feels like the clouds are holding me down. If it goes on like this I will be done. You can turn it around, turn it around, you could make more of life if you can turn it around. You have time on your side, time on your side, all is not lost, you have time on your side.
5.
In time I’ll find, that I broke my mind on jagged dreams that could not be achieved, and now I feel my fears are real I hate them. A painful trip for a soul to take, unhappy sleep, being kept awake by scary thoughts that can’t be dreams - my eyes are open. My mind it seems is oxidised by alcohol and petty lies. Now I feel my fears are real I hate them.
6.
Tikkel 03:42
Take me down, take me to the places that your dreams all go. Lead me there, show me all the thoughts that I should need to know. Cause if you feel this, then your heart is real. Tell me all; keep no secret away from my ears. My sleep depends on seeing all the things you hide behind your tears. Cause I need to know, that you want me here. Come with me, I’ll show you all the scars that left me lying here. I’ll tell you things; I want to bring you closer so that you can hear. Cause if you feel this, then your heart is true. Honesty, I cry when things can hurt from within. Be true to me, I want you to tell me when you’re giving in. Cause I need to know, that you want me here.
7.
Time was on our side for many years then passed us by. A day turned into weeks, then into months and into years and all that time we were in love. Time does funny things when you are young and you have dreams. No time to wait, for chance or fate, you have to take before you’re late, and sometimes you get left behind. I know your heart, and you don’t wear it on your sleeve, now I must depart, will it hurt you when I leave? Time has truly passed, you keep my kiss, it was my last. My sorry feet that left your house, now walk the street with happiness, but you don’t ever go outside. I know your heart, and you don’t wear it on your sleeve, now I must depart, will it hurt you when I leave?
8.
Nine a.m., a sleepy town. Yellow ribbons stretch from house to house. A police talks to the press, “we have a murder that is our largest case”. A young man set off on his own, left a note at his parents home – “take your jibes and snide remarks, your ratty smiles, and go fuck yourselves. You’ve had your kicks from being cruel. It’s my turn to have the last laugh”. Then bodies later and two more missing, a helicopter comes to film the scene. Everyone is speechless but can manage the tears. “Such disaster we could not envisage”. But in the corner there’s one hell of a din; “that’s the boy who never ever fit in. We tried to teach him but he would never learn”. He left a note addressed to all concerned - “take your jibes and snide remarks, your ratty smiles, and go fuck yourselves. You’ve had your kicks from being cruel. It’s my turn, it’s gonna end tonight. I’ve never said before how hurt that I’ve become. I’m getting up at dawn and walking into town with my paint and brush and putting crosses on all the doors in town where they have done me wrong. And in your bed at night, whilst you can safely sleep, come daylight your nightmare begins. See I won’t hesitate on bringing hell to earth. It ends tonight on my terms.
9.
At Last 03:37
At last I can see stars, sat by the moon, the clouds shifting past, happy at last. At last, away from the cars, away from the lights, I look to the sky, the bad days have past. I was lost, in so many ways, I found myself wasting my days. I’ll do what I can to make amends.

about

The history of pop music is littered with examples of artists who suffered with their ‘difficult second album’. These bands are usually under some form of pressure from an aggressive record label and expected to get creative on demand. I cannot claim to have been under any such pressure whatsoever, but it is fair to say that ‘Sagittarius’ didn’t completely satisfy me as a project.

I had never really stopped writing songs since finishing ‘My Piranha’ so there was plenty of material to work with, but both Larry and I wanted to be a bit more ambitious with the recording process. We set up a makeshift studio in a derelict house and camped in the garden at night. Larry’s recording technology had developed loads from the previous work so we began to overlay multiple tracks constantly. This is immediately apparent in ‘So Alone’, where the voices are all overlaid to create a choral effect, and it carries on throughout the album. The intention of these multiple tracks was to create a fuller sound and a much more professional project, but in hindsight I think we polished the material too much, and perhaps lost some of the character.

Another difference upon ‘Sagittarius’ is the length of the songs, which are noticeably longer. This is largely a result of working in partnership with Larry on some of the song writing, as well as a desire to develop the songs further than the ditties that appear on ‘My Piranha’. Maybe some of the ideas are being pushed too far at these lengths, but I think others benefit from the ambition, especially ‘It Ends Tonight’ and ‘Tikkel’. Bethan Smith also features much more upon this record, largely because we really liked her contribution upon ‘We Both Lost Our Way In The End’ on the previous project.

The professional completion of ‘Sagittarius’ is thanks to the patience and dedication of Larry, who engineered, programmed and performed on many of the tracks. This fundamentally essential contribution perhaps leads to my lack of fulfilment from the project, as it didn’t include many of the imperfections that result from my limited musical ability! Personally it feels a little dislocated from the source material. However, it received more praise from listeners than any other musical endeavour I’ve ever embarked on, so I shouldn’t be too negative about it.

The music shared many of the same influences as ‘My Piranha’, although I wasn’t in the same emotional state when recording the material as when I had written it, except for ‘Balmoral’, which is lifted straight from the demo tapes and left untreated.

I hope you enjoy this record.

James

credits

released November 1, 2007

Performed by James Fair, Larry Smith and Bethan Smith. Music written by James Fair & Larry Smith. Lyrics by James Fair. Produced by Larry Smith. Recorded at Bramleys, 5th – 11th August 2007 except “Balmoral” – recorded at The Tything in 2005.

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gingerjamesfair Bournemouth, UK

Just happy to be making and sharing.

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